Tebow to save Jets and kill Sanchez’s career
Today, well yesterday Tim Tebow was announced officially as a member of the New York Jets. A little bit of me died inside with this announcement but that is beside the point. I am trying to figure out who was more disrespected in the transaction. Was it Tim Tebow who saved the Broncos season and led them to a playoff victory only to lose to a much better Patriots team and be given away by the Anti-Christ John Elway or Mark Sanchez who just signed a huge contract only to see his organization trade for Tebow who could potentially take his job and win over the locker room? I think it’s Tebow by far. Here is what is going to happen, and when it does you all can say wow, Tbow was right. So training camp will roll along, we will see video of Peyton looking stellar with his red don’t hit me jersey on throwing lasers down the field and John Elway standing on the sideline looking like a happy horse who just got his poopy stable cleaned. Then comes the Preseason. Peyton goes down, reaggrivates his injury and can’t play for the rest of his career. John Elway looks up only to see a group of fans wearing Tim Tebow jerseys and hears the song “Our God is an Awesome God” playing in his head the rest of his life. Denver goes on to accomplish what the Lions did a few years ago and go 0-16. John Elway gets run over by a real life Bronco that looks identical to him and dies instantly. Put all your money on it. Don’t underestimate Tebow’s powers. Winning football games with no talent around you takes ten times more effort than calling for a karate chop to Peytons neck and a Bronco getting loose at a nearby zoo.
All kidding aside, I see Tebow getting the starting job around week 3. Mark Sanchez has the mental capacity of a 5-year-old. And I am not talking about a five-year old from back in the day who was raised correctly I am talking about the five-year olds now that get a trophy for showing up to practice and have an ice cream party after losing 30-0 in a baseball game. His mind is already screwed up right now after that trade, never mind when Timmy is calling him up every other day to say whats up and asking him to go build houses with him in the Philipines. First day of practice Tim is going to walk up to Cromarte and say “hey man, you remember that Tweet saying your good?” and then he is going to kick him right in the balls and say “you’re welcome. now you don’t have to worry about having any more children”. Power move of the century. I couldn’t see a team that was more unfit for Tebow. Just a bunch of punks and idiots and foot lovers who all think they are the best players and entitled to everything. Just wait. Plaxico will be carrying a Bible to clubs instead of a gun and Rex is going to start licking Rosary beads instead of feet. If
Tebow Jesus could turn water into wine, there is no doubt Tim will bring the Super Bowl to New York next season.