Why LeBron will be a Sixer next season

130313214544-0021200956-mia-phi-recap-lebron.main-video-playerSo I have to admit, I was a little nervous when the Sixers came out guns blazing this season. I thought maybe they could be an 8 seed in the god awful East, and not to mention how god awful the Atlantic Division is. But they are nicely cruising in tank mode and that means high lottery pick in the 2014 draft. So my job now, is to tell everybody now that LeBron James will be a member of the 2014 Philadelphia 76er squad. Everyone might think, oh no way he would leave Miami for Philly but I am about to blow your minds with knowledge.

Sam Hinkie the new GM of the Sixers has done an amazing job so far. He did what no GM has done for the Sixers in the last 10 years and that is have an actual plan at how to become a contender for multiple seasons. I’ll admit, I was very skeptical about them trading Jrue Holiday for 2 first round picks last year but boy was I wrong. Well, maybe. They used their 2013 Hornets pick to draft Nerlens Noel, who might not play all year but we all know his talents and how the East lacks any size. He will be a force down low when he starts his NBA playing days. They then used their own first round pick to draft Rookie of the Year candidate Michael Carter-Williams who looks like he’s the real deal. He has size at the point guard position and can play any way you need him to. Size at the point guard position is a huge advantage, especially with Carter-Williams skill set. Add these two young players with a Jabari Parker and another lottery pick courtesy of the Hornets and you have a group of young talent that the league hasn’t seen in a long time.

So if you’re LeBron, you’re sitting there with probably another ring on his finger because the Heat have no competition this year, and he will be an unrestricted free agent in July if he chooses to opt out of the last 2 years on his contract. He went to Miami, guaranteed championships and delivered. However, he got a lot of heat for having to join forces with 2 proven All-Stars to get it done. What better way to end his legacy then to pack up and head to Philly? Transform an organization that has failed for a decade into a dynasty. He will be surrounded by young superstars that will be peaking when LeBron begins his decline. Philly may get a bad wrap as far as fans go, but they are great fans as long as you are winning and putting in effort. Picture a 76ers lineup next season that looks like this : PG- Michael Carter-Williams, SG- Jabari Parker, SF- Thaddeus Young, PF- LeBron James, C- Nerlens Noel. Can you say championship? I left Evan Turner out of this group because I see him getting dealt at some point either this season or in the off-season. I don’t think the Sixers could afford Turner with the kind of money they would have to throw at LeBron. Regardless, LeBron will be in a division that has 4 other teams with no hopes for the future in the Nets, Knicks, Celtics and Raptors.

So LeBron, I hope you’re reading this. You would be a fool not to take the opportunity to join the young stars the Sixers have and win championships with meaning.

Im Baaaaack

World Series - St Louis Cardinals v Boston Red Sox - Game Six

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been a long long time since I’ve been on here, but do not worry at all, because I am back. And since I got 17 hours of sleep last night, I feel like now is a good time to recap everything that has happened since I have been gone. So let’s give it a try.

1. Red Sox dominated life- This team proved everyone wrong, including myself and I loved every second of it. I didn’t think they even had a shot at making the playoffs but once again we are all witness to what a bunch of mediocre guys can do if they enjoy playing together. Even when they had the best record in baseball, I still thought they were going to lose to the Rays in the 1st round. But once they beat them I think everyone knew it was over. The only bad part of the whole thing was that Obee made the dumbest bet in the history of betting and put 100 bucks on the Sox to win the World Series pre-season at 35-1 and got rewarded. Craziest thing I’ve ever seen.

2. NFL sucks- This has been the worst season I’ve seen in a long time. With all the new rules and players safety precautions, it’s making the game unbearable to watch. Sure player safety is a serious thing, but I also hate how the players are whining about player safety and that they can’t hit anyone on defense. Like, hello. Football is a contact sport. There is a great risk for injury, and there has been since the first time anyone ever played. And you’re telling us now that it’s not right and they need to do something. But then complain when the NFL changes rules because it makes your job impossible. Everyone is soft these days. If you don’t want to run the risk of getting a concussion and then having serious illness when you’re older, then find a different sport to play. We’ll bring in Shane Falco to suit up every Sunday and of course the Honey Badger would play because you know he don’t care. Get rid of all the stupid rules and find players who are willing to take the risk.

3. The Atlantic Division in the NBA is screwing the 76ers- Every year I watch the Sixers with just a little bit of hope that they could be competitive. And every year I am disappointed. This year, the Sixers get 2 lottery picks in the draft in Michael Carter-Williams and Nerlens Noel, plus the Pelicans likely lottery pick next year and of course, our shoe in 1st overall pick from sucking this year. Well folks, the Sixers don’t even know how to tank right. Like, the city of Philadelphia and all your fans WANT YOU TO LOSE. I don’t want you to win 30 games and make the playoffs because the East absolutely blows. 30 wins might win the Atlantic. Like, screw off Knicks and Nets and Celtics. We knew Parker and Wiggins were legit first. We decided to tank first. You can’t come in like this and just blatantly suck and make the race for last competitive. That’s not how it works. Also, LeBron to the Sixers next year, you heard it hear first. Where better for LeBron to go than Philly. He’d be surrounded by 2 lottery picks from this year, then 2 from next year in a LOADED draft. Sixers can afford him. Lock it up. See you in Philly next year LeBron.

4. Bruins are kind of good- 1st place in the division going into Thanksgiving. I can deal with that. But let’s make something clear. They are not playing great hockey. I heard a stat the other night that something like 15 of their 30 something goals given up this year have been in the last 2 minutes of a period. We need to stop that right now. All I can picture is us losing every game in the playoffs in the last second and me wanting to kill myself. Tighten it up Claude. Other than that, Tuukka is playing great which makes their decision to sign him long term look good. The Bergeron, Erikksson, Marchand line is starting to come around so that’s good too. Oh, and our 3rd line is dominating people. The One-Eyed-Swede is looking great out there and Riley Smith is playing like a veteran. Let’s just put it all together down the stretch and you can get the Duck Boats ready!

5. Obamacare sucks- So in the month that Obamacare launched, I think my fantasy football team won more games than people signed up for this thing. We got Democrats acting like there’s nothing wrong with spending a billion dollars on something that doesn’t work and you have Republicans shutting down the government. Obama, just admit you were wrong and come up with something that works for everyone. How hard is that? Your idea sucked. It happens. It just happens that you are the President of the United States so your fuck up kind of screws a lot of people. No biggie. You can either stop this now and maybe do something right in your 8 years of office, or leave it and have your grandchildren embarrassed in their US History classes when they get to the chapter of “How Obama Ruined America”. Pretty awkward.

6. New York City sucks- A few weekends ago I took a trip to NYC to get a taste of big city livin. Instead I got to get in almost 8 accidents, stare at huge piles of garbage and deny thousands of bums money because honestly most of those bums are probably better off than me. NYC is disgusting. Not to mention the $115 parking ticket I got for parking in front of a fire hydrant. I park there at 5pm and the curb was covered in trash. I mean this was a trash pile so big that it was twice the size of me high and wider than my car. Like, at 3am there was  a herd of bums lounging in it, and yes the word herd is absolutely necessary. So obviously I couldn’t see the fire hydrant and when the garbage men come, well wouldn’t you know there’s a fire hydrant right next to my car. And the city of NYC tells me that I need to provide evidence. Yeah, cause I’m sure you take a picture of your car every time you park it. Unbelievable.

So there’s what we all missed while I was gone. You guys are more than welcome to resume life now.

Bye Bye Jrue

Nerlens-NoelAfter a few months of drinking myself into forgetting that Andrew Bynum didn’t play a single game for the Sixers last year, I decided to check in on the NBA draft the other night and see what the future might look like for the Sixers. First words I hear are that the Sixers traded Jrue Holiday for Nerlens Noel, a big man with knee problems. Then I thought to myself, hmm, that sounds familiar. Oh that’s right, I was subject to watching Spencer Hawes shoot 3 pointers every night last season because Andrew fucking Bynum didn’t play. The Bruins had just lost the Stanley Cup, and now the Sixers trade by far their best player for a rookie who won’t be able to play until December. I honestly jumped out the window, luckily for me I live on the first floor but still. So I let it sink in after a few days, tried to play the “NBA didn’t confirm it so it’s not true” card for a while. Then I finally came to my final conclusion of how I felt about this trade, I wish I could have been standing next to Sam Hinkie myself and just been like, “Sam, just when I think you couldn’t do anything dumber you go ahead and do something like this. And totally redeem yourself!” I like this new GM, he’s got balls clearly and knows that the Sixers are so awful that it’s going to take a few years to bring a championship to Philly. Sure Jrue was an awesome player and I’m sure he’ll do great things if he can ever get past the fact he’s playing for a team named the Pelicans. But let’s face it, Jrue wasn’t a leader at all. Some guys can lead, some can’t. Jrue couldn’t and that was apparent last season. Now we have a guard in Michael Carter-Williams who has the same size as Jrue and could turn into the same type of player, and a legit big man as long as we keep him off the bowling lanes or anywhere near Spencer Hawes. Not to mention if we play bad enough this year we could lock up Andrew Wiggins AND have the Pelicans 1st round pick which will easily be in the top 10. The last time I’ve been this excited about the Sixers future was this time last year when we traded for Andrew Bynum, so I’m not sure what any of this means but all I can say is I can’t wait for another season of Shitty  Sixers basketball.

P.S.- If your looking for somewhere to buy confetti the Wells Fargo will have plenty because there is no way those confetti machines are going off more than 5 times next season

Sixers Celts Home and Home Preview

Looking-great-Drew.-Screencap-via-@SmoothShawonSixers are hosting the Celtics tomorrow night followed by a game at the Garden on Saturday. We are almost a quarter of the way through the season and the Sixers and Celts are both sitting at 10-8. These two games probably don’t mean as much to the Celtics as they do to the Sixers. Who knows when Bynum is going to be back. I have said it all along that if the Sixers can go .500 until Bynum is back they will be able to contend for a championship. However, if he gets pushed back any later than mid January I will have to retract that statement. Most years .500 would get you a spot in the playoffs easily in the East. This year I’m not so sure. I thought the Sixers would have the Atlantic locked and have Boston as their biggest threat but Brooklyn and New York decided to show up this season. The reason I say these two mean more to the Sixers than the Celtics is because this could possibly be the team going forward for the duration of the season. It’s possible there is no Bynum at all which should result in a blanket party for Sixers upper management for leading us all on, so this is really a test to see if they have what it takes. The Sixers beat them in the first match-up this year, and that is the game where I think something clicked with Evan Turner because he has been on a tear ever since. I think he is the X-factor in these two games along with Thad Young. Celtics don’t really have anyone who can match up with Thad because he’s big and athletic.

Unfortunately, it looks like the Sixers might not have Nick Young for these two games because he’s still battling vaginitis turf- toe. While Nick Young really helps the Sixers bench scoring which is the reason they have been struggling the past few games without him, I don’t think his absence will hurt them too much. Celtics can score at times but at other times they can be shut down with good, solid D which is what the Sixers play. Plus when the Sixers played the Celts earlier, the Sixers were without J-Rich who is a more consistent 3-point shooter so I’ll call it a wash. I honestly wish this wasn’t a home and home because I think most likely we are going to see a split. It is just human nature for Team A who won last night against Team B to relax while Team B needs to play harder to make up for the night before. But, since the Sixers have been owning the Celtics the past few years in regular season games I like a nice clean sweep. Jrue has been playing like an all-star point guard, and quite frankly if he doesn’t make it I will never watch an all-star game again. He’s averaging 18 points a game and 9 assists and has just simply taken over close games in crunch time and hitting clutch shots.

Keys in the Sixers 2 wins- Lavoie Allen plays shut down defense on KG, Dorell Wright and Jason Richardson are dripping like a Hanukkah candle from the 3 point line, and Thad Young and Turner rack up double digit points. Game. Set. Match

Game 1- Sixers 100-83

Game 2- Sixers 97-92

Maybe Rondo can try not to get thrown out of another big division game over a regular foul.