How Pissed Would You Be If You Were Tim Tebow?

sanchezPoor Timmy is all I gotta say. How big of a slap in the face is it to trade for a quarterback only to try and ruin his career? If you don’t think the Jets just wanted to screw Tebow over you’re crazy. Everyone knows Tebow wants to be a quarterback. Whether anyone thinks he could be an NFL quarterback is irrelevant because Tebow doesn’t care. I’m sure he hated every single second he was on the punt team but he decided he could put up with it until Mark Sanchez showed his true colors and he could swoop in and save the day. Unfortunately for him, Rex Ryan is one of the worst head coaches of all time and brought the Jets down with his decision to stick with Sanchez week in and week out. And to boot, he goes and gives the job the last two weeks to the 3rd string quarterback who was inactive for half the games. Um, that makes total sense. Sure you can argue all day about which guy is better, and McElroy might be a better quarterback but what is the point of trading for Tebow if you have a guy who could be your future already on the roster? Let’s bring Tebow in, make him put on 25 pounds so it screws up his mobility and throwing, so we can have a guy we can run a fake punt to twice all season.

Tebow could have gone to Jacksonville and been starter by week 4. That team is god awful though, so I don’t blame him for wanting to go to New York instead. Think of the decision from Tim’s point of view: I’ll go to New York, get to live in the city, sit behind Sanchez until week 4 when they have 3 losses and Sanchez is playing like the terrible quarterback he is, take over a team with a solid defense, good running game, and who cares who the wide-out’s are because who needs wide receivers?  I think the Jets would definitely be in the playoffs if they handed the team over to Tebow earlier on in the season, but they would have been the same as the Broncos last year. Not really contenders because the defense is good but not that good and the offense has no weapons to come from behind and win a game. I would LOVE to see Tebow go to the Vikings next year. They have a very good defense, the best running back in the league, a solid tight end in Rudolph and a wide receiver in Percy Harvin who can do whatever you need him to. If that isn’t a perfect place for Tebow to thrive I’m not sure what is. And let’s face it, Christian Ponder is garbage. He won’t win you any games, and he sure as hell can lose you games single handedly. Tebow might  not win you that many games, but he is excellent at managing the game and making smart decisions to put you in position to win.

I know most of you reading this probably hate Tebow and think he sucks, but any normal thinking human can’t possibly not feel bad for the guy this season. If you win 8 games in the NFL at QB you deserve a chance to lose your job, not be subject to the side show known as the New York Jets. Vote and tell me what you think, whether you feel bad for Tebow this year or whether you think he deserved to be part of this joke team.

Wait, there’s a football game tonight?

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Man, you would think today was the damn Super Bowl. I guess that’s how I would act too if my favorite team played one good team a year.  Anyway, I’m excited because it should be a good game. What I would give for my Eagles to switch with the Patriots and move to the AFC East and put the Pats in the NFC East. 6 automatic wins almost every year. And the only reason I say almost every year is because once in a while the Jets will make the playoffs so those games are harder. I will give my expert analysis however and give both teams keys to victories:

Patriots keys: If the Patriots want to win tonight, it’s all about scoring and scoring early. Now, this could be a problem because it is pretty crappy outside, but weather might not come into play that much. I realize the Texans can score as well, but scoring early and often will really put pressure on the Houston offense which would love to sit on the ball and control the clock. On defense it’s all about stopping the run. Containing Foster would be huge and give the Patriots a clear advantage. The pass defense should be simple. If you want any chance of winning a Super Bowl, you should be able to stop one wide receiver. Houston only has Andre Johnson, and he is a good wide out but the one goal is to contain him for no big plays. Dink and dunks are fine, as long as you can score on offense. Try and get to 30 and hope you can outscore that offense.

Texans keys: Control the clock. If Houston can run, which they can, I really like them tonight. The best way to beat the Patriots is to keep their offense off the field. You know the Patriots offense will score, but it’s not impossible to hold them to 20. Limit possessions and put pressure on Tom Brady. If you can force a few turnovers and run the ball there is no reason to not win this game.

Needless to say, I like the Texans. Honestly, the Patriots have not beaten a really good team in who knows how long. Last year they lost to every good team in the regular season and didn’t beat the Ravens, Billy Cundiff and Lee Evans beat the Ravens. Maybe this is the game where the Pats can show that they are the real deal and aren’t just going to beat up on mediocre teams and then lose to the Giants in the Super Bowl again. I just think the Texans defense is too good, and the Patriots defense isn’t there yet. I see a low scoring game tonight, even though many expect it to possibly be a shootout. The only way it will be a shootout is if the Texans defense shits themselves and forgets how to play. Patriots will score but not a lot and it should be a good, tough, hard fought game. Pats fans better hope it doesn’t come down to a field goal or they might be signing Billy Cundiff next week because Gostkowski is garbage.

Prediction: Houston 21- Patriots- 20

NFL Week 5

There we go. Last week I came into form. Had it not been for terrible, terrible, terrible defense on the Ryan to Roddy hail mary from the 1 yard line, my pick that the Panthers would beat the Falcons would have come true. But that’s why I love spreads. 9-5 last week, which is what I’ve been expecting. Like the NFL players, I guess I’ll blame my poor picking in weeks prior to the replacement refs. Thanks a lot. Week 5 has some interesting matchups, and with my overall record at 28-28-4 I will look to break over the .500 mark and not look back. As an extra pick this week, I like the Rams to beat the Cards tonight. If the Rams can duplicate what the Dolphins did on defense, they should have no problem beating them and handing the Cardinals their first loss.

Falcons @ Redskins (+3)- Major, major match up this week. I’m not sure if there will be any defense in this game, or only 22 bodies standing against the offenses. I’m not even sure who I like more in this match up. The Falcons are riding high off a tight win at home last week, and the Redskins won a tough one against the Bucs. I will give the edge to the Redskins in this match up because of the fact that they are at home, and not in a dome. Matty Ice has had trouble on the road in his career, and while I liked the Falcons to lose last week (which they should have) I actually like them to lose again. This time the spread isn’t as big as 7 but the Skins cover and win.

Tbow’s Pick- Redskins +3

Eagles @ Steelers (-3.5)- Steelers had an extra week of rest and preparation time, and the Eagles are coming off a HUGE divisional win against the Giants in prime time last Sunday. I can see the Eagles coming out flat and playing like shit, but I won’t believe it til I see it. The defense is too tough for that, and they should beat the Steelers, or at minimum keep it close.

Tbow’s Pick- Eagles +3.5

Packers @ Colts (+7)- Packers pulled to .500 last week and the Colts had the week off. Like I’ve stated, having extra time to prepare is a BIG deal in the NFL. No Jennings for the Pack and that extra week for the Colts might be a recipe for upset. Lets face it, the Packers should be 1-3 if the Saints kicker could do his job. I think we all hear the name Packers and expect them to win, but are they really that good? I don’t believe it so I will take the Colts to cover, maybe even shock the world this week.

Tbow’s Pick- Colts +7

Browns @ Giants (-9)- My Eagles beat the Giants last week and the G-Men are desperate for a win as the season’s first month is in the books. I like Eli to put a whooping on the Browns in a blowout, even though the Giants play much better on the road for some reason.

Tbow’s Pick- Giants -9

Dolphins @ Bengals (-4)- The Bengals are an interesting team to me. I don’t know if I believe in them yet. Dolphins have a tough D this season, and the Bengals haven’t had that killer instinct to put bad teams out of  reach early. They kind of let the Jags and Browns hang around for a while. My gut is telling me the Dolphins pull off a win this week, or maybe I just have to poop. Either way.

Tbow’s Pick- Dolphins +4

Ravens @ Chiefs (+6)- Cmon now Vegas. I wipe my ass with 6 points. Ray Lew might kill Matt Cassell in this game. No joke. All day. By himself. One pillow. One pillow case. Gun at his waist.

Tbow’s Pick- Ravens -6

Seahawks @ Panthers (-3)- Panthers looked good last week, but came up short. Seahawks looked, well, not so good. They are just a different team on the road. However, I think they can beat the Panthers. A heavy dose of Marshawn is in order and the Hawks can control the pace of the game that way.

Tbow’s Pick- Hawks +3

Bears @ Jags (+5.5)- Which Bears team will show up? Well, which Jay Cutler. Bears D is legit this year and they could make the Jags offense hell on Sunday.

Tbow’s Pick- Bears -5.5

Titans @ Vikings (-6)- No Locker could be a blessing in disguise for the Titans. Vikings are hot and the Titans are not, with their star QB down and out, this is the perfect recipe for a team to rally around the vet Matt Hasselbeck. Shocker special here, Titans upset the Vikings, but who would have thought the Vikings would be in position to be heavy favorites against anyone?

Tbow’s Pick- Titans +6

Broncos @ Patriots (-7)- Pats offense exploded in the 2nd half at Buffalo. I expect them to pick up where they left off. The Broncos had it easy last week, and the media is on Peytons nuts again. The guy sucked worse than any QB against the Falcons who don’t even have a good defense. I don’t care what anyone says, Peyton will feast on the shitty teams and will get owned by the decent to good teams. Pats in a smokeshow this week.

Tbow’s Pick- Patriots -50

Bills @ 49ers (-10)- 49ers are good. The Bills are bad.

Tbow’s Pick- 49ers +10

Chargers @ Saints (-4)- How can anyone pick the Saints to win? I still hate you Drew Brees, did the replacement refs blow the ball wide left last week?

Tbow’s Pick- Chargers +4

Texans @ Jets (+9)- Talk about embarassing. 9 point dogs at home on Monday night. Kick em while they’re down. Week 5 was a little late for my calling of Tim Tebow, but I’l take it. This will be Tebow’s team starting Monday night, and surprisingly they still have a legitimate shot at making the playoffs given how horrible they played against the Niners. One might say the Jets need a miracle to make the playoffs. Well to that person I’d say, Tebow is a miracle worker. Shock the world Monday Tim.

Tbow’s Pick- Jets +9

Week 4…A little late

I completely forgot to write up my picks for week 4 so I will rapid fire through them right now. Last week was a very, very bad week so I hope to rebound this week. I was an atrocious 4-10-1 last week. Just not acceptable. That brings the 3 week total to 19-23-1. So here we go:

Pats @ Bills (+4.5)- This game scares me. A lot. Everything we thought of the Patriots this year has been the opposite and no Logan Mankins who was the only solid option on the O-Line makes me lean towards picking an upset. But I just don’t think Brady will let that happen. I think it’s a close one but Pats cover.

Tbow’s Pick- Pats -4.5

Vikings @ Lions (-4)- The Lions are a team I haven’t liked all season. I think Stafford was kind of a fluke last year, and everything just went right for them. I see the Lions as merely a .500 team this season but as the NFL has shown this season, teams coming off big wins lose and teams coming off big losses win so go Lions.

Tbow’s Pick- Lions -4

Panthers @ Falcons (-7)- This spread might be a tad too high for me. Falcons have been playing flawless but let’s not forget how the Panthers offense looked in the friendly New Orleans dome. I like a shootout today and I actually like the Panthers to upset Matty Ice as they’ve had a few extra days to prepare and with Cam having a little fire under his ass after his pouting last week.

Tbow’s Pick- Panthers +7

49ers @ Jets (+4.5)- This is an intriguing match up  Anyone who watched the Jets game last week, I’m sorry. I was kind of forced to watch it and it almost put me to sleep. The 49ers should come out strong after an embarrassing loss to the Vikings last week, but this could be Tebow week. I think if Sanchez struggles early today, you better believe its Tebow time. Their offense needs a spark, and not Tebow running in the flats every play. Let him loose. I like the Niners to win and cover UNLESS Tebow gets the call at halftime or earlier.

Tbow’s Pick- 49ers -4.5

Chargers @ Chiefs (+2)- Chiefs coming off a big win, Chargers coming off a big loss at home. It might be a tight one but go Philip.

Tbow’s Pick- Chargers -2

Titans @ Texans (-13)- This is a huge spread. But the Texans look like the real deal but last time I said that the team lost to a shitty team. So I don’t think the Texans lose, but who the hell knows?

Tbow’s Pick- Titans +13

Seahawks @ Rams (+3)- Don’t have much time so just doing picks here.

Tbow’s Pick- Rams +3

Tbow’s Pick- Cardinals -6

Tbow’s Pick- Raiders +7

Tbow’s Pick- Bengals -3

Saints @ Packers (-9)- I will elaborate on this one. I hate Drew Brees. What a whiny little bitch he is. Oh we are 0-3 and playing like shit so let me make a comment about how bad the refs are. Get a clue Drew. Your defense sucks. You let up 30+ points to the CHIEFS. Did the refs not tackle Charles on that 91 yard TD? What a pussy he is, go Packers.

Tbow’s Pick- Packers -9

TBow’s Pick- Redskins +3

Tbow’s Pick- Eagles -1

Tbow’s Pick- Bears +3.5