How to win your March Madness bracket

It’s that time of year again, where college basketball will consume your life from 12pm Thursday afternoon until the National Championship game. The bracket was released last night, and, like most of you, cannot wait to watch an hour long Obama bracket release special. He actually probably has less time to look into his bracket now that he’s not in the White House though, so we can’t expect too much. That was sarcasm. Aside from that, I am going to tell you exactly what you need to do in order to take down your friend or office March Madness pool.

  1. Do ZERO research- This is a crucial part when trying to determine who will advance in every game. You could spend hours reading articles and watching bracket specials, but I am going to let you in on a secret. Ready? Nobody has any idea what is going to happen. They call it March Madness for a reason. There’s a billion teams, and these kids are 18-22 years old. Last year we had our first 16 seed over a 1 seed. Anything can happen, so in reality, less is more.
  2. Pick whichever team you are a fan of to win the Championship- If you went to any of the schools, or are just a fan of any of the schools that are in the tourney, make sure you pick them to win the whole thing. If they won and you missed out on the opportunity to cash in on that, you’d hate yourself for the rest of eternity. I mean, I guess you’d be excited that your team won, but the odds of you actually picking who’s going to win are slim anyways so you might as well go with a team you like.
  3. Don’t look at the seeds- Seeding is the biggest scam that the tournament has going for it. “Oh, they are the 3 seed, no way they can lose to the 14”. It happens every year. Upsets happen, and honestly there’s usually a good amount of higher seeds that are actually Vegas favorites over the lower seeds. If you’re sitting there at the end and ready to hit submit on a bracket that has 4 number 1 seeds and 4 number 2 seeds in the Elite 8, then I’d probably hit close and start all over.
  4.  Disregard 1, 2 and 3- Don’t listen to anything I say. If you actually took any of this into account you’d be breaking rule number 1 of no research. I don’t know shit, just like everyone else. Put a blindfold on, pick teams out of a hat, I don’t care. The only way you win a bracket is to pick the champion and hope not many other people had that team also. Pretty simple. Just hope that your bracket isn’t completely busted on the first day so you can at least enjoy yelling at the TV for 96 straight hours this weekend.

Is it time to put Tommy Heinsohn down?

Now, before you all get upset at the headline, let me explain myself. As a huge NBA fan, I watch a ton of games every year and listen to a lot of broadcasts. The NBA Players Only broadcasts are a disgrace to basketball, and I really don’t expect that to be a thing going forward in the near future considering all of the horrible things people say about it every game. But of all the broadcasters, in all the broadcast villages, in all the broadcast towns, Tommy Heinsohn is by far the worst and it’s not even close or debatable. Yes, he is a Hall of Famer, yes he was good at his job at one point, yes he is a Boston legend but lord have mercy the guy cannot call basketball games anymore.

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Sure, I’ve heard fans love him like they love a grandparent, and I’m not saying I believe in euthanasia, but I’m also not saying that I don’t believe in euthanasia. There comes a point where it’s not funny anymore and it’s just actually sad. As a fan, there is no way you can enjoy watching your team play every night and having the guy on the broadcast clamoring for every foul call, every non foul call, and screaming nonsense every 2 minutes. Jack Edwards catches a lot of heat in Boston for being a homer and a fanboy, and he isn’t anywhere close to as bad as Tommy, so I just don’t understand how they let him keep his job. Obviously they’ve dialed him back a bit as his health has gone downhill, which the health part sucks, but they need to just let Scal take over. The fans don’t need to hear how Greg Stiemsma reminds him of Bill Russell and what Aron Baynes looks like in the shower room. I think deep down everyone in Boston knows it’s time to bring him behind the shed, but they don’t want to say it. He had a great career as a player, coach and broadcaster, but it’s time to let him spread his wings and watch Celtics games from his bedroom in his footie pajamas.

Celtics vs. Heat Preview

The Celtics and Heat are set to square off in about an hour on TNT, thank god. The longer I can go without having to hear Tommy Heinson’s voice the better. The Celtics are coming off a disappointing loss against the New York Knicks on Christmas day, and the Heat are coming off an impressive redemption win against the Mavericks as their 2011 Championship banner was raised to the rafters. It appears Paul Pierce won’t play again tonight, which is a huge loss for the Celtics. I did not get to watch any of the Christmas day game, but Rondo lead the Celtics with 31 points and 13 assists, having a very good game. I was not surprised that he played well. Rondo obviously can’t feel very secure being in Boston as they nearly traded him away in the offseason for Chris Paul, so it is in Rondo’s best interest that he plays at a very high level every game or he could be out the door. In my opinion, the Celtics know that Rondo is a pretty good player, but only if he has a supporting cast. With the big 3 nearing the end of their days in the NBA, the Celtics organization knows that in a few years, Rondo could be the only big name left in Boston (that is assuming you consider Rondo a big name). Chris Paul, as we all know, can at least keep a team afloat without a supporting cast, but I do not have much faith that Rondo could do the same. Look for Rondo to have another big game tonight with Pierce out, but for his efforts to come up small again. The Heat big 3 have a year under their belt now, and this year they could be a very scary team.

I also can’t believe Garnett did not get a suspension after grabbing Bill Walker’s neck at the end of the game on Christmas. It was totally unnecessary and something like that could easily have led to something more. With that being said, he will be playing tonight and don’t expect to see much of him. He has shown the most signs of aging of the Big 3, sustaining injuries the past two years that have forced him to miss significant time. It will be very interesting to see how these older teams deal with the plethora of back to back games this season, as the league is trying to fit as many games in as possible. Final score tonight will be Heat 100 Celtics 88, as the Heat will improve to 2-0 and the Celtics to 0-2. Happy New Year.