Im Baaaaack

World Series - St Louis Cardinals v Boston Red Sox - Game Six

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been a long long time since I’ve been on here, but do not worry at all, because I am back. And since I got 17 hours of sleep last night, I feel like now is a good time to recap everything that has happened since I have been gone. So let’s give it a try.

1. Red Sox dominated life- This team proved everyone wrong, including myself and I loved every second of it. I didn’t think they even had a shot at making the playoffs but once again we are all witness to what a bunch of mediocre guys can do if they enjoy playing together. Even when they had the best record in baseball, I still thought they were going to lose to the Rays in the 1st round. But once they beat them I think everyone knew it was over. The only bad part of the whole thing was that Obee made the dumbest bet in the history of betting and put 100 bucks on the Sox to win the World Series pre-season at 35-1 and got rewarded. Craziest thing I’ve ever seen.

2. NFL sucks- This has been the worst season I’ve seen in a long time. With all the new rules and players safety precautions, it’s making the game unbearable to watch. Sure player safety is a serious thing, but I also hate how the players are whining about player safety and that they can’t hit anyone on defense. Like, hello. Football is a contact sport. There is a great risk for injury, and there has been since the first time anyone ever played. And you’re telling us now that it’s not right and they need to do something. But then complain when the NFL changes rules because it makes your job impossible. Everyone is soft these days. If you don’t want to run the risk of getting a concussion and then having serious illness when you’re older, then find a different sport to play. We’ll bring in Shane Falco to suit up every Sunday and of course the Honey Badger would play because you know he don’t care. Get rid of all the stupid rules and find players who are willing to take the risk.

3. The Atlantic Division in the NBA is screwing the 76ers- Every year I watch the Sixers with just a little bit of hope that they could be competitive. And every year I am disappointed. This year, the Sixers get 2 lottery picks in the draft in Michael Carter-Williams and Nerlens Noel, plus the Pelicans likely lottery pick next year and of course, our shoe in 1st overall pick from sucking this year. Well folks, the Sixers don’t even know how to tank right. Like, the city of Philadelphia and all your fans WANT YOU TO LOSE. I don’t want you to win 30 games and make the playoffs because the East absolutely blows. 30 wins might win the Atlantic. Like, screw off Knicks and Nets and Celtics. We knew Parker and Wiggins were legit first. We decided to tank first. You can’t come in like this and just blatantly suck and make the race for last competitive. That’s not how it works. Also, LeBron to the Sixers next year, you heard it hear first. Where better for LeBron to go than Philly. He’d be surrounded by 2 lottery picks from this year, then 2 from next year in a LOADED draft. Sixers can afford him. Lock it up. See you in Philly next year LeBron.

4. Bruins are kind of good- 1st place in the division going into Thanksgiving. I can deal with that. But let’s make something clear. They are not playing great hockey. I heard a stat the other night that something like 15 of their 30 something goals given up this year have been in the last 2 minutes of a period. We need to stop that right now. All I can picture is us losing every game in the playoffs in the last second and me wanting to kill myself. Tighten it up Claude. Other than that, Tuukka is playing great which makes their decision to sign him long term look good. The Bergeron, Erikksson, Marchand line is starting to come around so that’s good too. Oh, and our 3rd line is dominating people. The One-Eyed-Swede is looking great out there and Riley Smith is playing like a veteran. Let’s just put it all together down the stretch and you can get the Duck Boats ready!

5. Obamacare sucks- So in the month that Obamacare launched, I think my fantasy football team won more games than people signed up for this thing. We got Democrats acting like there’s nothing wrong with spending a billion dollars on something that doesn’t work and you have Republicans shutting down the government. Obama, just admit you were wrong and come up with something that works for everyone. How hard is that? Your idea sucked. It happens. It just happens that you are the President of the United States so your fuck up kind of screws a lot of people. No biggie. You can either stop this now and maybe do something right in your 8 years of office, or leave it and have your grandchildren embarrassed in their US History classes when they get to the chapter of “How Obama Ruined America”. Pretty awkward.

6. New York City sucks- A few weekends ago I took a trip to NYC to get a taste of big city livin. Instead I got to get in almost 8 accidents, stare at huge piles of garbage and deny thousands of bums money because honestly most of those bums are probably better off than me. NYC is disgusting. Not to mention the $115 parking ticket I got for parking in front of a fire hydrant. I park there at 5pm and the curb was covered in trash. I mean this was a trash pile so big that it was twice the size of me high and wider than my car. Like, at 3am there was  a herd of bums lounging in it, and yes the word herd is absolutely necessary. So obviously I couldn’t see the fire hydrant and when the garbage men come, well wouldn’t you know there’s a fire hydrant right next to my car. And the city of NYC tells me that I need to provide evidence. Yeah, cause I’m sure you take a picture of your car every time you park it. Unbelievable.

So there’s what we all missed while I was gone. You guys are more than welcome to resume life now.

Capitals packing it in?

It’s more than likely that John Erskine is going to suit up tonight for the Caps which will inevitably mean the Bruins have the series in the bag. I have watched this series and many other series going on right now, and it’s the least physical of all of them. Maybe the Capitals have never been hit before this season, but the hits the Bruins are putting on guys are clean and quite frankly this isn’t even the most physical they can play. We all know the rational thing to do when your down in a series is to dress your goon fighter who hasn’t played in two months to get on the ice for 8 minutes and spend 10+ in the penalty box. Sure he will probably take Lucic off the ice for baiting him into a fight but trading Backstrom for Erskine is just stupid. Game four isn’t the time or place to try and make a physical statement in the series. You had your chance the first 3 games and the best you could do was have one of your best players take a stupid match penalty at the END of the game which meant nothing. Caps you missed your chance.

Now to be completely fair, Erskine isn’t totally useless. Oh wait, wait, yes he is my mistake. Unless scoring 11 goals over your 10 year NHL career, and having 2 points in 28 games this year isn’t useless then Claude should be sending a thank you letter to Dale Hunter. And I thought Bruce Boudreau was bad in the playoffs. You know what, I like hockey fights so I won’t complain. If I was a Capitals fan however, I would be very concerned.

Bruins vs Canadiens, last meeting of the year

The Canadiens are in town for their last meeting with the Bruins this season. Montreal is horrible this year and word on the street is they are trying to get rid of Michael Cammalleri. I say the Bruins just cut out the middle man and give him a jersey after the game tonight. Save him the trip back to Canada, eh? This is going to be a smokeshow and expect all the Canadien’s fans to hit the exits early tonight as the Bruins win this one 6-2. Have a wonderful evening and enjoy the Canadien National Anthem.

Was Anyone Surprised by the Canucks?

I am so mad after that game. Not because the Bruins lost but because it seems like there is more unfinished business than before. I have never seen a bigger group of wimps and rats in my entire life. I was surprised anyone even decided to drop the gloves for the Canucks, and Horton held his own against Vancouver’s enforcer, which Thornton wasn’t too happy about. What was up with the refs too? They handed Vancouver the game with the ridiculous penalty calls. Clipping on Marchand? I didn’t even know there was such thing as clipping in hockey and where was that call in the Stanley Cup Finals when the Canucks did it to Lucic along the bench? Then Salo throws his stick up in the air at the fans, typical Vancouver.

It was a disappointing game, to say the least. It started so great too, and just the way all of us had expected it to. But when half the game is played on special teams you knew it wasn’t going to bode well for the Bruins who are the best 5 on 5 team in the NHL. It’s too bad we wont get to see the Canucks until the Stanley Cup now, but I can’t wait. Just hearing Lu-on-go every five minutes from the crowd made my day, and typical Luongo couldn’t make the save on Bergerons attempt to decapitate him on the bench at the end of the game. Merry Christmas Vancouver. You beat us in the regular season. Hope you enjoyed the view of our new banner. See you in June.