Im Baaaaack

World Series - St Louis Cardinals v Boston Red Sox - Game Six

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been a long long time since I’ve been on here, but do not worry at all, because I am back. And since I got 17 hours of sleep last night, I feel like now is a good time to recap everything that has happened since I have been gone. So let’s give it a try.

1. Red Sox dominated life- This team proved everyone wrong, including myself and I loved every second of it. I didn’t think they even had a shot at making the playoffs but once again we are all witness to what a bunch of mediocre guys can do if they enjoy playing together. Even when they had the best record in baseball, I still thought they were going to lose to the Rays in the 1st round. But once they beat them I think everyone knew it was over. The only bad part of the whole thing was that Obee made the dumbest bet in the history of betting and put 100 bucks on the Sox to win the World Series pre-season at 35-1 and got rewarded. Craziest thing I’ve ever seen.

2. NFL sucks- This has been the worst season I’ve seen in a long time. With all the new rules and players safety precautions, it’s making the game unbearable to watch. Sure player safety is a serious thing, but I also hate how the players are whining about player safety and that they can’t hit anyone on defense. Like, hello. Football is a contact sport. There is a great risk for injury, and there has been since the first time anyone ever played. And you’re telling us now that it’s not right and they need to do something. But then complain when the NFL changes rules because it makes your job impossible. Everyone is soft these days. If you don’t want to run the risk of getting a concussion and then having serious illness when you’re older, then find a different sport to play. We’ll bring in Shane Falco to suit up every Sunday and of course the Honey Badger would play because you know he don’t care. Get rid of all the stupid rules and find players who are willing to take the risk.

3. The Atlantic Division in the NBA is screwing the 76ers- Every year I watch the Sixers with just a little bit of hope that they could be competitive. And every year I am disappointed. This year, the Sixers get 2 lottery picks in the draft in Michael Carter-Williams and Nerlens Noel, plus the Pelicans likely lottery pick next year and of course, our shoe in 1st overall pick from sucking this year. Well folks, the Sixers don’t even know how to tank right. Like, the city of Philadelphia and all your fans WANT YOU TO LOSE. I don’t want you to win 30 games and make the playoffs because the East absolutely blows. 30 wins might win the Atlantic. Like, screw off Knicks and Nets and Celtics. We knew Parker and Wiggins were legit first. We decided to tank first. You can’t come in like this and just blatantly suck and make the race for last competitive. That’s not how it works. Also, LeBron to the Sixers next year, you heard it hear first. Where better for LeBron to go than Philly. He’d be surrounded by 2 lottery picks from this year, then 2 from next year in a LOADED draft. Sixers can afford him. Lock it up. See you in Philly next year LeBron.

4. Bruins are kind of good- 1st place in the division going into Thanksgiving. I can deal with that. But let’s make something clear. They are not playing great hockey. I heard a stat the other night that something like 15 of their 30 something goals given up this year have been in the last 2 minutes of a period. We need to stop that right now. All I can picture is us losing every game in the playoffs in the last second and me wanting to kill myself. Tighten it up Claude. Other than that, Tuukka is playing great which makes their decision to sign him long term look good. The Bergeron, Erikksson, Marchand line is starting to come around so that’s good too. Oh, and our 3rd line is dominating people. The One-Eyed-Swede is looking great out there and Riley Smith is playing like a veteran. Let’s just put it all together down the stretch and you can get the Duck Boats ready!

5. Obamacare sucks- So in the month that Obamacare launched, I think my fantasy football team won more games than people signed up for this thing. We got Democrats acting like there’s nothing wrong with spending a billion dollars on something that doesn’t work and you have Republicans shutting down the government. Obama, just admit you were wrong and come up with something that works for everyone. How hard is that? Your idea sucked. It happens. It just happens that you are the President of the United States so your fuck up kind of screws a lot of people. No biggie. You can either stop this now and maybe do something right in your 8 years of office, or leave it and have your grandchildren embarrassed in their US History classes when they get to the chapter of “How Obama Ruined America”. Pretty awkward.

6. New York City sucks- A few weekends ago I took a trip to NYC to get a taste of big city livin. Instead I got to get in almost 8 accidents, stare at huge piles of garbage and deny thousands of bums money because honestly most of those bums are probably better off than me. NYC is disgusting. Not to mention the $115 parking ticket I got for parking in front of a fire hydrant. I park there at 5pm and the curb was covered in trash. I mean this was a trash pile so big that it was twice the size of me high and wider than my car. Like, at 3am there was  a herd of bums lounging in it, and yes the word herd is absolutely necessary. So obviously I couldn’t see the fire hydrant and when the garbage men come, well wouldn’t you know there’s a fire hydrant right next to my car. And the city of NYC tells me that I need to provide evidence. Yeah, cause I’m sure you take a picture of your car every time you park it. Unbelievable.

So there’s what we all missed while I was gone. You guys are more than welcome to resume life now.

Hilarious Buffalo Sabres fans

So I was flipping through the channels and noticed the Sacko Bowl was on NHL Network. Buffalo scored a goal to give there playoff chances a tiny bit of hope and then this is what happened:

I am not sure what is worse. The fact that these kids were so into this game or the fact that NHL Network couldn’t find a better game to put on television. Sure Buffalo had a chance to make playoffs but they aren’t very good and Toronto just fell off the face of the planet after the first few weeks of the season. I guess that’s just Canada, eh?

Top 5 Celebrities I Hate The Most

I was watching ESPN the other day, and since College football is almost done, they are starting to talk about the NFL draft and who is projected to be picked in the first round. I heard the name Mel Kiper Jr. for the first time this year and I wanted to throw up. Just hearing his name makes me angry, and that inspired me to make this list of the top 6 celebrities I hate the most. Feel free to comment and add in whoever you hate too, the more the merrier.

7. Kanye West/John Mayer/Anyone who broke Taylor’s heart- Ok so this was only going to be a 6 person list then I remembered these horrible people. Kanye West had probably the biggest scumbag move of all time when he jumped on stage of the 2009 VMA’s when Taylor Swift was accepting her award for video of the year. Listen Kanye, Beyoncé’s video sucked. It was her and two dancers dancing in a white room. No creativity, no nothing. Plus you are a scum for taking up my entire Twitter feed the other night talking about God knows what with you and I can’t even come up with anything because it made no sense. And you John Mayer….I hope you wake up every morning to Dear John and cry because I do. Just kidding…but seriously. No, he is a horrible person who shouldn’t have even been dating Taylor or whatever they were. T-Swifts mom should have known after listening to Daughters by Mayer that all he wants to do in life is snatch up your daughter and get them prego. Always be cautious of a guy who sits by himself playing acoustic. Then anyone else who broke T-Swifts heart, you suck and I hate you. If she would have met me when she was 15 she would have nothing to write about.

6. Bob Costas– I actually started the list off without Bob Costas and knew I couldn’t make this list without him so I added a spot. This guy is the least funny person I have ever listened to in my life. He never used to try to be funny, at least not that I can remember, but recently he has tried and it just doesn’t work. I really hate him for his rant this season on Sunday Night Football about the players and their celebrations after touchdowns. I wanted to reach through my TV and punch him right in the face. He is the reason the NFL is the no fun league. Listen Bob, there is a reason they only let you do your rants right in the middle of halftime, it’s because nobody is watching.

5. Kevin Garnett/Paul Pierce– I am putting these two as a combo because I just couldn’t decide who I hate more. Garnett is the biggest wannabe thug I have ever seen, and I wish someone would just clock him. Take it easy KG, the game just started and you have a bucket of sweat dripping off you and you are swearing to yourself up and down the court. Pierce is just a soccer player in a basketball uniform. That guy flops more than anyone I have ever seen, and I have seen a lot of floppers since I am (or was) a Duke fan. I have no idea how he is going to live this season with the NBA taking away shooting fouls for when players throw their arms in the air after a foul in order to make it a shooting foul. That was the biggest crock in NBA is when players did that and nobody did it more than Pierce. Be thankful you two are only number 5 on my list.

 

4. The entire cast of Jersey Shore (minus Pauly)- I’ll admit it, I watch Jersey Shore. So what. It is great entertainment, and whoever came up with the show is a pure genius. However, it is embarrassing that this is what American entertainment has come to. Maybe I hate them because I wish I could get paid to go to clubs, get drunk, fight, and sleep all day but regardless of why, I still hate them. Pauly is the only normal one, and I say normal as in the most normal he could possibly be for being a Guido on the Jersey Shore. I used to like Vinny and thought he was “normal” until the season premier a few nights ago when the guy was crying because he missed his mom and family. Bro, you are getting paid to get drunk, go to clubs, and sleep. I think you can handle not seeing your family for 3 months, or god forbid what happens when you have to get a real job like the rest of America and have to move out of your house. Don’t even get me started on Ron and Sam. The best line I think of all time in the history of the world was when Ron said something like “I love you, that’s why I at least cheated on you behind your back instead of right in front of you”. It was something like that, but regardless that is definitely true love right there. Anyways, great TV show but I hate you all.

 

3. Joe Buck– Wow. That is all that comes to my mind when I listen to anything Joe Buck says. Especially now a days he has this whole not caring tone in his voice. It’s hard to explain but I know I’m not the only one who noticed it. It sounds like he has 3 of Tim McCarver’s tampons shoved up his nose, you know, that sound. I’m not really sure why I hate him. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s like 5 feet tall or the smug look on his face every time they show him on camera. Maybe it’s the fact that he hates every team that I root for. The best moment in my life was in 2004 when the Red Sox won the World Series and you could hear the pain in Joe Buck’s voice when he said the Red Sox were World Champions. I guess I just don’t like him because he never really adds anything interesting to any game he does. He’s like Joe Morgan on the old Sunday Night Baseball games, “You know, if he swings and pops it up and they catch it, I think it’s a good chance that will be an out”. Yeah thanks Joe, wasn’t sure if that would be something else. Thank god he was canned. Anyways, I hate you Joe Buck. That just has a good ring to it. T-shirt idea?

2. Tommy Heinsohn– I hate him even more right now for the fact that I am not putting him number one. If you know anything about me, you know how much I hate Tommy Heinsohn. The thing is, nobody really agreed with me that the guy was off his rocker, and people are starting to realize that this season. This guy amazes me every time I listen to him speak, and that is not very often. He is so bad, I have watched Celtics games on mute so I did not have to hear the ignorant, biased comments he made on a daily basis. The ball could literally be thrown off Paul Pierce’s head and bounce 8 rows into the stands and Tommy would either yell and scream how it wasn’t out-of-bounds on the Celtics or that Pierce deserves a Tommy point for taking one in the forehead. I’m pretty sure he even gave KG a Tommy point when he called Charlie Villanueva a cancer patient. Maybe Heinsohn was a good announcer at some point in his life, I can’t even wrap my head around the notion that this guy coached in the NBA. Either way, it’s his time. The bell has rung. Hang em’ up and go have a few beers with John Madden and talk about Greg Stiemsma and half the guys on the Patriots that John Madden still can’t pronunciate. Uh Tim Brady, oh I’m sorry that s Tom Brady. Seriously though, this hurts that I have him at number 2 but maybe one day he will make it to number one.

1. Mel Kiper Jr. – This guy is only on TV two months, if that, out of the year and I hate him more than anyone. This is a genuine hate too. I hear his voice and even his name and I get angry. I really don’t even know why. Maybe because he gets paid to give his opinion on something as stupid and meaningless as the NFL Draft. Like, let’s be honest. What in the world does you giving me a list of YOUR top 10 players do for anyone? He gets paid to do a mock draft that has no effect on anything. For the most part he is wrong every year too. He is worse than weathermen. The thing is, he thinks he is God’s gift to Earth. I don’t even think any of the other ESPN analysts like him either. At least analysts who do baseball games or football can give us information that maybe we missed in a game or didn’t understand, but Mel Kiper just gives us a list of players and who he would pick if he was these NFL teams. Give me half his salary, a list of the guys in the draft and a hat and I will give you my opinion and the same thing will happen.

NHL Winter Classic Preview

The Winter Classic is upon us again, only it’s on the 2nd of January instead of the 1st, stupid NFL. This has quickly become one of my most favorite sporting events of the year. Whoever thought of the idea to have an annual game, outside in a baseball or football stadium is just a genius. It is only the 5th year, but it seems like it’s been around forever. Every year the jersey have an old-school feel to them, and it adds a level of excitement to the game. Wind, snow, rain, sun anything could be a factor in the game, and it could even be all of the above, you just never know.

This years matchup might be the most intriguing of any of the matchups so far. I think the Rangers and Flyers truly have the most hate for each other of any of the teams that have played in the previous Winter Classics and it should be a very good game. The Flyers are just 2 points away from the top spot in the Conference with, guess who, the New York Rangers. The matchups between the Rangers and Flyers this year have been hard fought, gritty games. One might say they even have the old NHL feel to them, with more hitting and fighting than scoring. So what a fitting matchup to have during this Winter Classic. Also, if any of you have gotten to watch any of the HBO speacial 24/7 Road to the Winter Classic, you get a great look into the behind the scenes of these teams, and you get to learn each players own story. I have only gotten to see one epsidode, but am looking forward to watching the rest.

So I like the road team in this game. The Flyers have lost Pronger for the year, and he was arguably the biggest part of that team. A leader on and off the ice. and the best defensmen they had, it’s tough to be the same team after losing a guy that good. The Rangers are a great team this year, and their first place in the Eastern Conference backs that up. Name that Staal, Marc Staal is playing in his first game since February of last year after he suffered a nasty concussion. He is a great player that the Rangers get back. If you read my blog a week ago about concussins in the NHL, you would know I am a fan of fighting in the NHL. While fighting is down and nearly non existent in Winter Classics, these teams have too much hate for each other to play a different type of game. Brandon Prust always drops the gloves against the Flyers so look for him to be active today, maybe another bout versus with Wayne Simmonds or Jody Shelley early in the game. Expect another hard fought game, with good energy and emotion, and for the Rangers to out-muscle the Flyers in a 3-2 thriller.