Category: NFL

Tebow to save Jets and kill Sanchez’s career

Today, well yesterday Tim Tebow was announced officially as a member of the New York Jets. A little bit of me died inside with this announcement but that is beside the point. I am trying to figure out who was more disrespected in the transaction. Was it Tim Tebow who saved the Broncos season and led them to a playoff victory only to lose to a much better Patriots team and be given away by the Anti-Christ John Elway or Mark Sanchez who just signed a huge contract only to see his organization trade for Tebow who could potentially take his job and win over the locker room? I think it’s Tebow by far. Here is what is going to happen, and when it does you all can say wow, Tbow was right. So training camp will roll along, we will see video of Peyton looking stellar with his red don’t hit me jersey on throwing lasers down the field and John Elway standing on the sideline looking like a happy horse who just got his poopy stable cleaned. Then comes the Preseason. Peyton goes down, reaggrivates his injury and can’t play for the rest of his career. John Elway looks up only to see a group of fans wearing Tim Tebow jerseys and hears the song “Our God is an Awesome God” playing in his head the rest of his life. Denver goes on to accomplish what the Lions did a few years ago and go 0-16. John Elway gets run over by a real life Bronco that looks identical to him and dies instantly. Put all your money on it. Don’t underestimate Tebow’s powers. Winning football games with no talent around you takes ten times more effort than calling for a karate chop to Peytons neck and a Bronco getting loose at a nearby zoo.

All kidding aside, I see Tebow getting the starting job around week 3. Mark Sanchez has the mental capacity of a 5-year-old. And I am not talking about a five-year old from back in the day who was raised correctly I am talking about the five-year olds now that get a trophy for showing up to practice and have an ice cream party after losing 30-0 in a baseball game. His mind is already screwed up right now after that trade, never mind when Timmy is calling him up every other day to say whats up and asking him to go build houses with him in the Philipines. First day of practice Tim is going to walk up to Cromarte and say “hey man, you remember that Tweet saying your good?” and then he is going to kick him right in the balls and say “you’re welcome. now you don’t have to worry about having any more children”. Power move of the century. I couldn’t see a team that was more unfit for Tebow. Just a bunch of punks and idiots and foot lovers who all think they are the best players and entitled to everything. Just wait. Plaxico will be carrying a Bible to clubs instead of a gun and Rex is going to start licking Rosary beads instead of feet. If Tebow Jesus could turn water into wine, there is no doubt Tim will bring the Super Bowl to New York next season.

Bounty System for Goodell

This just in. Roger Goodell and his top assistants have been adding money to a pool encouraging the suspensions and fines of players in what was referred to as a “bounty system”. Goodell was rewarded every time he fined someone or suspended someone for what would be considered a normal football play a few years ago.

This whole bounty system thing is ridiculous. If anyone in their right minds thinks any of these players who are getting paid millions to play to the best of their abilities and want to win football games were going out there and somehow trying to hurt players to get an extra 10 grand then they are out of their minds. Yeah let me just take a run at someone after the whistle so I can hurt them, get fined 50k but, hey, ill get 10k from our cool bounty program. Sounds like a sweet deal huh? Anyone that has played football knows that it’s virtually impossible to intentionally hurt someone within the rules of the game and without malicious intent that would warrant a suspension most likely. If you could injure someone and take them out of the game within the rules, players would do it every single play. But to say these players were deliberately going out there with the intentions of hurting a player in the back of their mind, I think is absurd. It just doesn’t make sense for a player to risk getting fined or suspended for extra money which would just be headed straight to the league office.

I’d even go so far to say that the bounty system was good for some players. Granted, it shouldn’t be seen as a bounty system and should be called something else, but say a guy went out there and made a great play on a guy and he tore his ACL and was done for the year. Some guys obviously feel bad naturally, but they get to the locker room and get 15k and it helps them move past it. Ok that might be a stretch but regardless this whole thing is being blown out of proportion, go figure, by Goodell and his vision for the NFL to be the NFFL or National Flag Football League. We should have a bounty system for whoever can get him out as commissioner.

Final Word on NFL Season

I must start off by reiterating once again, that if you didn’t bet with my picks these playoffs than you suck. I nailed the Super Bowl picks, aside from the MVP pick which was a little far-fetched, though Manningham did have probably the biggest catch of the game on the Giants final drive. Plus I nearly nailed the final score if the Giants would have gotten the two point conversion, I had 23-17 but if anyone in their right mind can find me and tell me they believed the Patriots would only score 17 points I would love to hear from you. I don’t remember much from the game so I can’t really put my input on it other than I didn’t win any money and the outcome affected my life in no way, shape or form. Looking back on this 2011 NFL season as it has finally come to a close, I would like to note a few things to remember and a few things to look forward to.

First, the new rule changes have severely altered the game of football. When you have two quarterbacks in the same year break a record that hasn’t been touched in over 20 years, there is a serious problem. That just doesn’t happen. Not to take away anything from Brees or Brady but, with strict rules on roughing the passer and hits on defenseless receivers etc., today’s game can allow the quarterback to sit back and tear apart defenses through the air. Even Matthew Stafford threw for 5,000 yards this year, so the NFL needs to do something and I think I have the solution for them. I think they should allow defensive contact 10 yards downfield instead of 5. It will give corners more room to be physical with the freakish receivers in the league now that are like 6 foot 5, 250 pounds and can run a 4.4 40. I think this will level the playing field, and it will slow the game down just  a little bit, and that is what the NFL needs. They wanted the game to be fast, and saw the consequences; concussions in every game. We saw James Harrison who had been fined multiple times in the new NFL for hits to the head and hits on defenseless receivers, and he made a scary hit which ended Eric Decker’s season in the playoffs. Instead of making a solid hit up high he had to go low at Decker’s knees and Decker felt the pain.

The next thing to look back on was my boy Tim Tebow. He wasn’t even in the Super Bowl this year and he was stealing the show. Seeing pictures of him “Tebowing” with supermodels and needing the most security at the Super Bowl just shows how bright his future is. He led a 1-4 Broncos team to an 8-8 record, and to the Divisional Round of the playoffs. He has a full offseason this year to work with his wide receivers and offensive coordinator, which will make all the difference. The haters are always going to hate on him, regardless of what he accomplishes in his lifetime, so it won’t bother me anymore. If you think about it, he has done everything so far that people have said he couldn’t do. People said he couldn’t win a National Championship, he won two. People said he couldn’t win a Heisman, he won one (could have been two, screw you Sam Bradford). People said he wouldn’t sniff the first round of the NFL draft, he was drafted 23rd overall. People said he couldn’t play quarterback in the NFL, he won 8 games including a playoff game in his second season. I have faith that Tebow will put everything he has into becoming a better passer this offseason, and also in reading defenses. Those are his two biggest flaws, and he shows time and time again that he can identify his flaws and come back improved.

All in all this NFL season was a pretty good one. We saw some records broken, Jesus was talked about every Sunday which he rightfully should be, and the Brady/Belichick era seems to have hit a brick wall. I would be worried if I was a Patriots fan. Another year ending in disappointment, and Brady’s girl is ripping the receivers for dropping passes? How about she rips her husband for getting intentional grounding in the end zone. If they don’t get those two points it’s a 3 point game going down the final drive, less pressure to score and you only need to get the ball to the 35 or so. I guess once you’ve won the Super Bowl three times it’s gotta be hard to have that same intensity as the previous 3 but Belichick and Brady have lost something. Maybe it’s because the Patriots are straying away from the “Patriot way” with players like Ochocinco and Gronk. I am surprised Bill is even putting up with Gronk, and if Gronk wasn’t such a fan favorite already, he would be packing his bags right out of New England. It’s pretty embarrassing to go out raging after you just lost the biggest game of your career, and to be dancing around on an ankle that you claimed to have suffered a high ankle sprain on, which looked affected during the game but not so much on the dance floor. So I will leave you guys with an over/ under on how many of the first round draft picks the Patriots trade out of, I will set it at 1.5 and I will pick the over. Yo soy Fiesta con Eli.

 

3 Most Overrated Things About the Super Bowl

You can’t have a list of the 3 best things of the Super Bowl without having the 3 worst. It’s like saying you believe in God but there is no devil. So I am going to do my best to fill you in on what I hate about the Super Bowl:

3. The Super Bowl- The actual game itself is always usually the last thing people talk about unless you are a fan of whatever team is in it. Most of the time the game is uneventful until the last 2 minutes or is never eventful at all. Once in a blue moon you will get an amazing game like the 3 Super Bowls the Patriots won but other than that it’s usually not exciting.

 

 

 

2. The Commercials- Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy most of the commercials during the Super Bowl, but honestly half of them suck. And to be honest I just don’t understand the whole concept behind paying that much money to have a 30 second spot during the Super Bowl. I get that the Super Bowl is the most watched event and you are going to get a lot of exposure but the going rate for a 30 second spot this year is about 3 million dollars. Think about how much a marketing department could do with 3 million dollars. The last time I spent that much money for 30 seconds it was illegal in most countries so I won’t talk about it but either way it wasn’t worth it. Honestly, I haven’t signed up for Etrade just because that stupid little baby makes me laugh or buy any Doritos because some guy licks the cheese off another guys finger. So be quiet during the commercials this year so I can hear them and let me enjoy them even though most of them will suck.

1. Resuming Normal Life on Monday- How in the world has the Monday after the Super Bowl not been declared a National Holiday. I guarantee you would get more people to appreciate the Super Bowl Holiday than lets say a Martin Luther King Day and I mean that with no disrespect. But let’s be real. Everyone with a job is getting drunk for the game, staying up late, and hating their life on Monday, which is, I am going to guess, the most unproductive day of the entire year for most businesses. People go to work and are hung over as shit and all they do is talk about the game, commercials and how they drank 5 wine coolers and passed out with their pants on. Come on Obama do something productive for once and declare Monday as a holiday.

 

Happy Kwanza